


The Separation

by dreakawa



Series: Sanders Sides [4]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Background Relationships, Based on a Tumblr Post, Body Horror, Brothers, Dark Sides, Drabble, Dysfunctional Family, Family Dynamics, Gen, Heavy Angst, M/M, Mild Blood, Mild Gore, No Incest, One Shot, Pain, Polyamory, Post-Split, Pre-Split, Remus is fucked up, Roman just misses his brother, There is now a chapter 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:13:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21687367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreakawa/pseuds/dreakawa
Summary: Thomas couldn’t remember the day that he had inwardly decided that creativity was purely good... His sides, however - the parts of his personality split up into seperate beings - remember it well. No one more than Roman, Thomas’s creative side.The day that he was split from his brother, Remus, is a day that haunts him even now.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Dukeceit (Mentioned), Paranoia/Deceit/Remus, background prinxiety
Series: Sanders Sides [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1555222
Comments: 7
Kudos: 67





	1. Roman - What's Left of Me

**Author's Note:**

> I found this post while scrolling through Tumblr and it's what sparked the idea for this oneshot. That, and talking with my BFF about how much we miss writing body horror stuff.
> 
> I may or may not do a second chapter from Remus's perspective. We'll see!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> https://bigswitchenergyy.tumblr.com/post/189455621525/strickenwithclairvoyance

Thomas couldn’t remember the day that he had inwardly decided that creativity was purely good, a shining light, something to make people smile. He couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when he split off ‘mature’ thoughts from his happy ones, and he hadn’t even thought twice as he’d gone through life making content to make people smile.

His sides, however - the parts of his personality split up into seperate beings - remember it well. No one more than Roman, Thomas’s creative side.

The day that he was split from his brother, Remus, is a day that haunts him even now.

\--

The split hadn’t been pretty; far from it. The two were one being for the first half of Thomas’s life; one creativity, one mind. It wasn’t until he had hit puberty and began developing as a teenager that his thoughts began to change. Of course Thomas found things like dirty jokes and toilet humor funny; he was a teenage boy, after all. Eventually, though, he began to focus his efforts on lighthearted, clean humor.

The darker side of his creative mind did /not/ like that.

What was once one mind for Creativity became two, and at first they could still work together. Roman, the cleaner, happy creative side, and Remus, the darker, more not-safe-for-work side. The Prince and the Duke. Roman loved his brother and valued his opinions on everything, even if he knew it was a bit much.

The same could not be said for Remus.

“Remus, what do you think? Thomas wants to do something /silly/ and I -”

“Awful. Where’s the blood? Where’s the swearing?”

“It… It doesn’t need that, Rem. Thomas doesn’t /want/ that.”

“Well, it’s boring then. Come back when you have something interesting.”

These conversations became a regular occurrence; Roman suggesting an idea and Remus immediately shutting it down. Soon enough, Remus had had enough.

The split had been… ugly, to say the least. Being metaphysical human beings who lived inside of Thomas’s head, they couldn’t die. But Roman almost wished he had that day.

Remus had fought, /hard/, and despite Roman’s begging and pleading it wasn’t enough. Hands had ripped out of Roman’s chest, arms covered in blood as a perfect copy of Roman had slowly, achingly tore through his ribcage to escape. Roman had screamed in pain, collapsing as Remus crawled out of his body, bones cracking into place with each painful movement.

Unlike Roman’s screams, Remus was laughing. Cackling, even.

He finally manages to drag his foot out of Roman’s chest, slowly standing and cracking his neck from side to side. He’s naked, he’s covered in blood, and he’s grinning so, so wide.

Roman, meanwhile, manages to close up his chest, soft sobs exiting his lips.

“Look at you… so weak, so useless. I can’t believe we were one person for so long.”

“R-Remus…”

“Shut up! I’m done with this bullshit. You’re not worthy of being Thomas’s creativity, so it’s time I step in, free of /you./”

He looks in the closest mirror, eyeing himself before snapping his fingers. Within seconds he’s cleaned up, a mustache on his face and a grey streak in his hair, significantly distinguishing him from his brother. His outfit is also Roman’s polar opposite; instead of white with a red sash, he wears an extravagant black outfit with a green sash.

“Ahhh, much better! Now I can operate without your stupid fucking ideas trying to weigh me down. I’m FREEEEEE!”

“Don’t leave. Please…”

“Stop groveling, Princey. You look pathetic.”

\--

The split had utterly devastated Roman. The other sides - Patton/Morality and Logan/Logic - had been comforting, but seemed to be almost relieved that Remus was gone, sent to the darker sides of Thomas’s mind where Deceit and Paranoia lived. They couldn’t understand, though.

They didn’t know how much Roman loved his brother still, how much he needed him.

Being the creative side, nobody understood Roman’s creative process like Remus. They made it together, grew up together with the same mind for so long. Remus just… understood things that Patton and Logan couldn’t.

And now Remus was gone.

Roman was alone.

He couldn’t orate this to the other sides, either… No, they’d tell him that it’s for the best, that he’s better off and he should be happy that he doesn’t have those dark thoughts in his mind anymore. Roman admittedly did enjoy having creative control, and Thomas seemed to be happy with his content. But he missed having that second opinion, even when the opinion was “it needs more poop jokes”. Just having someone to bounce ideas off of made a huge difference in Roman’s creative process.

One thing he couldn’t tell the other sides was just how much he appreciated Remus’s input and held his opinion in high regard. They would know… They would know, and Roman couldn’t have that.

They would know just how much Roman doubted himself.

They would know how Roman hears Remus telling him he’s too soft, too boring, too bland. Not good enough, never good enough.

They would know that Roman believed him, and he couldn’t have that.

So as they get older, Roman’s bravado grows stronger. He pampers himself, makes himself out to be the dashing prince, ready to slay dragons and rescue handsome princes. He bickers with the others, especially Anxiety, and never allows the cracks in his armor to show through.

In the end, he’d rather the other sides think he’s self absorbed than broken and missing Remus. 


	2. Remus - Twisted Freedoms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus's side of the split, and a bit of life after he joined the dark sides.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was really happy with part 1 of this and I wanted to do a bit from Remus's perspective.
> 
> Yes, I have a weakness for Dukeceit and the poly!dark sides, what of it?
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy!!

The moment Remus had broken free (literally) from Roman, he'd felt a sense of freedom unlike anything he’s ever experienced.

Gone were the thoughts of happy things. Gone were Roman’s watered down ideas, telling him no, they can’t swear like that. No, they can’t have a horrible mutilation scene, they can’t, they can’t, /they can’t/.

Now, he can. He can do whatever the fuck he wants.

Roman had looked so pitiful lying there, ribs open and insides revealed, tears streaming down his face as he looked up at his brother in pain and disbelief. Oh, how satisfying it had been.

“Look at you… so weak, so useless. I can’t believe we were one person for so long.”

“R-Remus…”

God, he even /sounded/ pathetic. How embarrassing.

\--

The first thing he had done once he’d left his crying, broken twin on the ground was find Deceit. He’d always appreciated the man and his wily ways, and he wanted to explore. He wanted to find out what else was out there! He was untethered, his own side now. Roman never wanted to stray from Morality or Logic, and Remus found them so boring.

Time to make some new friends, it would seem. And that’s exactly what he had done.

Deceit and Paranoia were the “others”, cast away to the darker side of Thomas’s mind. Remus had liked them almost instantly; they weren’t afraid of the more mature ideas and thoughts that Remus came up with. In fact, they loved them. Paranoia became his best friend, Deceit a trusted friend and advisor, and Remus couldn’t be happier.

It was around this time that he found out about Deceit and Para being together, and much to Remus’s surprise, he had no interest in love. The romanticism must have all stayed with Roman. He was fine with this, however; he was invited to join them in bed, and soon it became a nightly occurrence. Sometimes it would be just Dee, sometimes Para, and some nights all three. It was the perfect arrangement.

Remus still created, of course. His room was an absolute mess of paints and crayons and markers, the walls lined with graphically violent paintings and drawings as well as some incredibly sexual ones. He could never do enough. He always needed more. Darker, more brutal, more sexual, more everything. He barely thought about Roman, except when the occasional idea would come his way and yet, as always, his brother’s was chosen. He hated being ignored, being unknown to Thomas, but he learned to live with it.

Until the day Roman tried to contact him again

He’d been deep in his creative process while painting, naked and alone. The others knew to leave him alone when he was here; he didn’t like to be disturbed. At all. Unfortunately, this was something that Roman was not aware of the day he knocked on Remus’s door.

Remus had been mid stroke when he heard the knock, eyes darkening. His voice is thick with anger, not caring who was on the other side. “Get the fuck out.”

“R-Remus? It’s Roman.”

/That/ makes him pause. What was goody goody Roman doing down here. “Ugh, come in.”

The door opens and Roman enters, eyes wide as he looks around. It’s clear that he’s instantly uncomfortable, only heightened when he sees that Remus is naked, and something about all of that sends a shudder of satisfaction down the dark side’s spine. “Welcome, /brother/. What do you want? You interrupted me during my creative time and I don’t-” Twitches. “-I don’t like that.”

“Remus.” Roman’s voice is soft, almost broken sounding, his eyes looking everywhere but at his brother. “Can you- uh, can you cover up?”

“No.” Shrugs. “You disturbed me, you can deal with it. Wellllcome to the dark side!”

A sigh and a nose pinch later and Roman is speaking again. “Fine. I, uh… I didn’t mean to disturb. I just…” Pause.

“Words, brother! Use them!”

“I just- I wanted to-” Roman releases a frustrated sigh before continuing. “Look, I miss your input. I know we have opposite views on most things but… You’re still my brother. You’re a part of me. You’re the only one who understands the creative process like I do and you’re the only one who’s opinion truly matters to me, other than Thomas’s.” He has a pleading look in his eyes. “I miss you, Remus. Can we… Can we work something out?”

Remus listens with an indifferent look on his face, waiting for Roman to finish to smile. “Roman…”

The look in his brother’s eyes… Oh, so much hope, so much light.

It doesn’t last long.

Remus begins to giggle, quietly at first, escalating until he’s full on cackling. Roman’s expression quickly changes into one of fear, anger, heartbreak.

“You… Oh, this is /rich/! You want /my/ opinions on things? You miss /me/? Oh, Romie, brother dearest. You are such a fucking joke.”

He can see the impact his words are having, and it only makes him continue. “You’re weak, you’re useless, you can’t handle anything dark. Your work is bland and you make Thomas bland in return. Why the fuck would I ever want to work with you again? Separating from you was the best decision I ever made.”

The sound of a small sob fills the room and it makes Remus giggle. “Brother, please-”

“I’m not your brother, Roman. You’re just a parasite I got rid off. Now, go away before I turn you inside out and use your blood for paint.” His voice suddenly becomes cheerful. “And say hi to Thomothy for me!”

The small sobs soon dissipate as Roman sinks down, and though Remus feels an odd sense of satisfaction he also feels another emotion bubbling up inside of him.

Anger.

Anger at Roman for thinking Remus wants anything to do with him. Anger at Thomas for not being able to see that mature content isn’t /evil/. Anger at himself for not just killing Roman.

He releases a guttural scream and begins trashing his room, his paintings, everything, until he’s sitting on the ground with paint and canvas surrounding him, giggling and shaking. It’s how Paranoia and Deceit find him, and it’s the last night he spends with Paranoia before Para takes on the name Anxiety, then Virgil.

The last time it’s him in the Para’s arms before Roman takes his place.

He hates it. He hates seeing them together, seeing them soft. Seeing /Virgil/ and Roman kiss and hug and talk all sweet to each other.

Let them have their fun, Dee would tell him while holding him at night. It won’t last.

He hates his brother. But someday, when Thomas was ready, Remus would be the true creativity, and Roman would sit and watch in horror.

And Remus would do nothing but laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aromantic!Remus is my favorite headcanon. The man likes sex but he doesn't fall in love - that's all Roman.
> 
> Also, Anxceit was canon and are now exes, nobody can tell me differently. Their dynamic is so reminiscent of exes. Ugh I love it.
> 
> And of course Prinxiety was coming into play, pls.
> 
> Feel free to comment and give kudos! Love you guys and thanks for reading!


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